Words About Jer |
Got something to say about Jer? Email your words to geichenblatt at gmail dot com for inclusion on this page!
My dear daddio
Rock of Gibraltar and proof of impermanence
how I have missed you
and your solid presence
larger than life
competence incarnate
fall-back guy for all things
man with the fragile back
who always
always
had mine
And now, you are gone.
Well, yes, you are gone
but most of you
left long ago
you surrendered your mind
to the disease you forever feared
and railed against
how I wondered
when visiting your body
and what was left of your mind
these last years
how impotent the human being can be
in the face of injustice
but that
dear daddio
is not how I will choose to remember you,
you great realer-than-life cartoon character
with your thin membrane of anger
barely containing your giant heart
and goopy sentimentality
you whirlwind of crushing love for your family
you protector
you provider
you caretaker
you critical thinker
you nerd
before anyone ever knew or heard of a nerd
with your pocket protector
your horned rimmed glasses
your slide rule
you student of history
you
you proud liberal
How I miss your giant presence
the 7000 decibel “discussions”
about politics
life
everything
...for Jerry Eichenblatt
was not a man
for whom communications could be meaningfully achieved
at any lesser volume
Oh daddio
how many things I have
to thank you for
besides my mere life
how lesser of one I might have had
without you at the helm
guiding me by your example
front-row seats for the Jer show
with its terrors and comedy
and no lack of drama
in one episode
you moved us
mitn drinnen
to Pascagoula Mississippi
1966
where you made a fast name for Jews
by hiring the first African American accountant
at the shipyard
and famously made a nuisance of yourself
at a local diner
when they refused to serve him.
I don’t know, daddio,
what went down that day
but I can easily imagine that
those hapless racists got an earful
they wouldn’t soon forget
and though no great civil rights victory was likely won that day
knowing about the event
reached its tentacles deep into my psyche
and formed something in me
that took residence
and has never left.
In another episode
in the same season
your outrage on my behalf
took me by surprise.
it was,
I discovered,
none of the principal’s damned business how long your son’s hair was
your defense of my rights
(and yours, as a parent)
also worked their magic
on my psyche
there were the seasons of episodes
involving cross-country travel
with the whole mischpucha
jammed into various station wagons and vans
and camping trips
with the extended mischpucha
all with their assortment of minor catastrophes
involving near death when passing trucks on 2-lane roads
guitars flying off the car rack
chicken bones in dennys burgers
hospital visits for asthma-inflicted kinderlach
cars ripped clean of their undercarriages on the rocks
the comedy always mixed with the catastrophes
and never a lack of fun despite them
And you
dear daddio
with your perfectionist zeal
unable to allow a cable to be improperly routed
beneath the motor home
spending hours more than your fellow travelers
with the same campground setups
just because they were not appropriately conscientious
that same perfectionism
none of us could possibly match
in our cacophonous,
messy home
despite your constant efforts
at imposing your mother’s order
that same perfectionism
that showed up in everything you did
your work!
Perfectionism involving numbers
and systems that had to be adhered to
to. the. letter.
your appropriately chosen field,
ACCOUNTING!
perfect!
Your creativity!
Perfectionism with design
and care in building
anything and everything
in your highly organized
garage workshop
and around the house
where
with wonder
I watched walls and fences go up
cabinets and storage units
move from sketches with elaborate measurements
to real items
that immediate gratification
of working with your hands
of careful planning
and a tangible result
another lesson and blessing,
another gift you gave me
jack of all trades
master of them all
you taught us that
with study
planning
diligence
determination
meticulousness
and care
we could accomplish anything
we set our minds to
That was you, daddio -
anything that you could do yourself
you would be DAMNED if you’d pay someone else to do!
anything you could build yourself
you would be DAMNED if you would buy!
You were frugal, yes
but also abundantly generous whenever generosity was appropriate
among the other myriad things you’d be DAMNED if you’d do
was to go out to eat with your kinderlach and allow them to pay a cent
loans were made and forgiven
cars, and even a motorcycle bought and given
rent paid
even a house was bought
in the redwoods
to house your children when they migrated there
There was almost nothing
that giant heart
wrapped in the thin skin of a world-class curmudgeon
would not do
for your family
All our lives
it was you we turned to
Any kind of problem
an indecipherable government document received
a mortgage to apply for
taxes, always taxes
navigating the DMV
insurance issues...
NOBODY was ever more competent
more capable
of helping to navigate these kinds of waters
than you
nobody more willing to help
so long as you were willing to be dealt
admonitions alluding to your own
incompetence
or worse:
intellectual laziness for not working harder
to figure things out for yourself
nevertheless
aid was always given
and it was always clear
that you relished the opportunity
to help
to be the oracle
for your family
Who now, do we turn to?
My dear
beloved
daddio:
how we have missed you
and all of your grand and majestic attributes
and all of your flaws and curmudgeonliness
and your bear hugs that want to love us so much
they might crush us
we miss you, will always miss you
beloved father, husband, grand and great-grandfather
uncle and son
oracle
accountant
craftsman
outdoorsman
motorhome driver
unabashed liberal
master of opinions
caretaker of your family
deep and faithful lover of your wife
loudest man I’ve ever known
be at ease now
rest in peace, daddio
rest in peace
He treated me with utmost respect and dignity.
He had great pleasure from our kids.
He came to me in a dream shortly after he passed away and he was laughing and kibbetzing with my baby.
His message to me was gratitide for his joy.
I called him Daddio...
He called me Mellio...
What struck me most about Jerry was seeing his compassion and kindness shine through his gruff exterior when anyone appeared to need help.
I will hold this memory of him (as well as his ability to laugh at himself—another admirable trait) always.
I am grateful to have been his daughter-in-law.